Day 45

I had a pleasant surprise yesterday. Turns out that I had my splint removal date wrong. It was TODAY, not Saturday like I originally anticipated. 

I went in today, and it was amazing to get that thing unwired from my upper teeth. The sensation of running my tongue over my back teeth was like an awkward reunion with the cousin you used to go skinny dipping with but now he’s older and you’re older and you don’t know what to say to each other and all you think about is how you used to run around naked in each other’s paddling pools… Yes, it was like that. 

I also got my surgical hooks removed. I don’t know if I really talked about this, but my surgical hooks were really screws embedded in my gums. I don’t know the logistics of how that worked, nor do I really care to know because just the thought of it makes me a little nauseous. When I got those taken out, I’m pretty sure my doctor used a screw driver. Or at least it felt like it. Also, one of them was stuck to my upper lip, so that was painful. Other than that, I didn’t feel much because I have no feelings in my gums right now. NONE.  (On the up side, on the subway ride home I started getting those champagne bubble fizzy feelings in my left lower lip, and I’m beginning to feel hot and cold temps on the other numb bits.)

Afterwards, I had to take photos and then got my first ortho treatment post-op. The joy of the splint removal was a little short lived as I got some rubber bands on my back brackets. To be honest, I’m a little confused with the purpose of these because I can feel my back molars meet (at least on the right side where I have feeling). I wore them for about 2 hours when they gave me an immense headache, so I removed two of the four I’m supposed to wear. I’m getting to be a pro with these bands.

For dinner, I celebrated by eating McDonald’s, which kinda grosses me out. I haven’t eaten Micky D’s in about 2.5 years. Maybe even more than that. I can even remember the last time I ate it. My best friend and I were driving back to campus after a night out – I’m going to assume we were partying – and were starving so we stopped at the only place open at 3 or 4 am and swore we would never mention to anyone that we ate there. The good news is that I’ve discovered that I can chew a lot more than I anticipated. AND, chewing is so much easier without the splint. You have less of that where-does-the-food-go-after-chomping chaos. 

Now that I’m feeling really post-op, I suppose there’s not much to do except continue to attempt to chomp through foods I used to love and worry about whether or not my new bite will shift (resulting in even more dental work, heaven forbid, I would just dieeeee).

Day 36

Before Kayne West became known for the joker that he's become, he was actually doing things that were meaningful. The first single he ever released as a rapper was "Through the Wire." I was a freshman in college at that time, completely unaware of how much meaning this song would have for me in the future.

He recorded the song after being involved in a near fatal accident in Hollywood. He had to undergo reconstructive facial surgery, which resulted in having metal plates placed in his face and his jaw wired shut for 6 weeks. Two weeks into jaw ordeal, he recorded this song - with his wired still in place. That's amazing. And I bet there isn't a single post-op orthognathic patient who doesn't sympathize with the following words:

I drink a boost for breakfast, and ensure for dizzert
Somebody ordered pancakes I just sip the sizzurp
That right there could drive a sane man bizzerk

Day 35

Today is the 5 week mark! 10 more days until my splint is no more, and only 3 more weeks until my 2 month anniversary. My life is all about numbers these days.

I’ve been eating pasta lately. Long noodles are easier as you can just cut them up and swallow them whole, but I’ve been attempting to chew more lately so I’ve been eating macaroni type noodles. Chewing is still a bit tiring after a while, and halfway into the meal, I start just swallowing. I’m still having issues with the food reaching my throat without having my tongue guide it there. I think it’ll be easier once the splint is out. 

I’m also trying to get my stamina back up to where it used to be pre-op. I get tired really easily, which is frustrating because there are so many things I want to do. It’s difficult because I can get my energy levels up without eating and since eating is a chore I tend not to eat as much. Catch 22.

Day 33

I spent a lot of time staring at my neck yesterday. It looks longer. When I put my hair up, I look like that girl on TV with the extremely long neck. One time, she came on screen with her hair in a top knot, and her neck looked crazy. That’s me now. I can no longer wear the top knot, one of my favorite hairstyles after seeing countless Swedish girls rock the shit out of it in May. 

I’m now in the clear for the acne that appeared post-op. They disappeared like they came – without notice and suddenly. I can now count on one hand the pimples I have left. Four. Well, three and a half. One is about to leave. 

Now I’m counting the days until the splint is gone – 12 more awful days with this mess and then it’s ta-ta!

Day 31

After getting my rubber bands removed yesterday, I've attempted to eat more soft chew items. For dinner last night, I ate spaghetti with the noodles cut very finely and a non-chunky sauce. When I woke up this morning, I ate pancakes (which I've been eating all along) and eggs. I've been chewing meat, mushy fruits, and sweet potato cake. I chewed a very soft nut that was sprinkled on top of my cake, and that was somewhat successful.

I say somewhat because here's the problem: I've forgotten how to chew. You would think that your body could remember something that it's been doing for 25 years. But once I mash the food up with my back or front (wow, I can't believe I can chew with my front teeth) teeth, the food just sits there. I don't even remember what used to happen pre-surgery. How did the food go from my teeth to my throat??? Now, I send in my tongue to retrieve the food and lead it back to the throat, but I'm not completely sure that was the previous procedure.

The things you take for granted...

I really want a sandwich. And some pizza. And of course, the ever elusive enchilada. I think I've gotta give up on the last one, as I'm now fairly certain it doesn't exist in Seoul.

Day 30

One thing that is so unique about Korea is the general population’s complete disregard for personal space. I got smacked by it today inside the department store by an employee who was too eager to get to the push carts. The victim was my right cheek, exactly in the middle of swelling. How is it possible that this man’s shoulder was a magnet for the sorest spot on my face? 

Went to the doctor today and had my rubber bands removed! The splint is still there, boo. But I did get a removal date – yay! Two weeks from now, I get that sucker out. That means I’ll have it removed on day 52. DAY 52!!! That’s more than seven weeks! Though I do have to say that for some reason, they thought I was leaving for the U.S. this week so they were actually going to take it out today. I should’ve just lied and then returned two weeks later and been like, “JUST KIDDING!”

Day 29

I ate pho today for dinner. I guess I should say dinner #1, as I’m still hungry. I cut the noodles until they were very short and then slurped it up.  I attempted to chew some of the longer noodles and found that they mostly got stuck in a crevice between my cheek and my teeth.

There’s this program on TV that investigates various segments of society and one of today’s topics was the rise in what’s called V-line surgeries. I mentioned this briefly, but there are a number of girls here who are obsessed with having smaller faces. I’m not too sure of the exact procedure but it involves breaking the jaw and shaving off some of the sides? and possibly shortening of the chin. Either way, the recovery is similar to what I’m going through. 

Watching it made me angry, as I think you’ve got to be five sides of stupid to undergo something as torturous as this for the sake of something so subjective as beauty. (If you judge by some tribes in Africa, elongated ears are considered beautiful, but you won’t catch me sticking objects in my earlobes.) Both girls who were lying next to me in the recovery room had procedures done for purely aesthetic reasons. Though I was too weak at the time to voice my opinion, if I saw them again, I’d slap both of them across the face. Except maybe the girl on my right because she gave me this delicious and sweet pumpkin juice. I’m easily won over by food.