Day 45

I had a pleasant surprise yesterday. Turns out that I had my splint removal date wrong. It was TODAY, not Saturday like I originally anticipated. 

I went in today, and it was amazing to get that thing unwired from my upper teeth. The sensation of running my tongue over my back teeth was like an awkward reunion with the cousin you used to go skinny dipping with but now he’s older and you’re older and you don’t know what to say to each other and all you think about is how you used to run around naked in each other’s paddling pools… Yes, it was like that. 

I also got my surgical hooks removed. I don’t know if I really talked about this, but my surgical hooks were really screws embedded in my gums. I don’t know the logistics of how that worked, nor do I really care to know because just the thought of it makes me a little nauseous. When I got those taken out, I’m pretty sure my doctor used a screw driver. Or at least it felt like it. Also, one of them was stuck to my upper lip, so that was painful. Other than that, I didn’t feel much because I have no feelings in my gums right now. NONE.  (On the up side, on the subway ride home I started getting those champagne bubble fizzy feelings in my left lower lip, and I’m beginning to feel hot and cold temps on the other numb bits.)

Afterwards, I had to take photos and then got my first ortho treatment post-op. The joy of the splint removal was a little short lived as I got some rubber bands on my back brackets. To be honest, I’m a little confused with the purpose of these because I can feel my back molars meet (at least on the right side where I have feeling). I wore them for about 2 hours when they gave me an immense headache, so I removed two of the four I’m supposed to wear. I’m getting to be a pro with these bands.

For dinner, I celebrated by eating McDonald’s, which kinda grosses me out. I haven’t eaten Micky D’s in about 2.5 years. Maybe even more than that. I can even remember the last time I ate it. My best friend and I were driving back to campus after a night out – I’m going to assume we were partying – and were starving so we stopped at the only place open at 3 or 4 am and swore we would never mention to anyone that we ate there. The good news is that I’ve discovered that I can chew a lot more than I anticipated. AND, chewing is so much easier without the splint. You have less of that where-does-the-food-go-after-chomping chaos. 

Now that I’m feeling really post-op, I suppose there’s not much to do except continue to attempt to chomp through foods I used to love and worry about whether or not my new bite will shift (resulting in even more dental work, heaven forbid, I would just dieeeee).

Day 36

Before Kayne West became known for the joker that he's become, he was actually doing things that were meaningful. The first single he ever released as a rapper was "Through the Wire." I was a freshman in college at that time, completely unaware of how much meaning this song would have for me in the future.

He recorded the song after being involved in a near fatal accident in Hollywood. He had to undergo reconstructive facial surgery, which resulted in having metal plates placed in his face and his jaw wired shut for 6 weeks. Two weeks into jaw ordeal, he recorded this song - with his wired still in place. That's amazing. And I bet there isn't a single post-op orthognathic patient who doesn't sympathize with the following words:

I drink a boost for breakfast, and ensure for dizzert
Somebody ordered pancakes I just sip the sizzurp
That right there could drive a sane man bizzerk

Day 35

Today is the 5 week mark! 10 more days until my splint is no more, and only 3 more weeks until my 2 month anniversary. My life is all about numbers these days.

I’ve been eating pasta lately. Long noodles are easier as you can just cut them up and swallow them whole, but I’ve been attempting to chew more lately so I’ve been eating macaroni type noodles. Chewing is still a bit tiring after a while, and halfway into the meal, I start just swallowing. I’m still having issues with the food reaching my throat without having my tongue guide it there. I think it’ll be easier once the splint is out. 

I’m also trying to get my stamina back up to where it used to be pre-op. I get tired really easily, which is frustrating because there are so many things I want to do. It’s difficult because I can get my energy levels up without eating and since eating is a chore I tend not to eat as much. Catch 22.

Day 33

I spent a lot of time staring at my neck yesterday. It looks longer. When I put my hair up, I look like that girl on TV with the extremely long neck. One time, she came on screen with her hair in a top knot, and her neck looked crazy. That’s me now. I can no longer wear the top knot, one of my favorite hairstyles after seeing countless Swedish girls rock the shit out of it in May. 

I’m now in the clear for the acne that appeared post-op. They disappeared like they came – without notice and suddenly. I can now count on one hand the pimples I have left. Four. Well, three and a half. One is about to leave. 

Now I’m counting the days until the splint is gone – 12 more awful days with this mess and then it’s ta-ta!

Day 31

After getting my rubber bands removed yesterday, I've attempted to eat more soft chew items. For dinner last night, I ate spaghetti with the noodles cut very finely and a non-chunky sauce. When I woke up this morning, I ate pancakes (which I've been eating all along) and eggs. I've been chewing meat, mushy fruits, and sweet potato cake. I chewed a very soft nut that was sprinkled on top of my cake, and that was somewhat successful.

I say somewhat because here's the problem: I've forgotten how to chew. You would think that your body could remember something that it's been doing for 25 years. But once I mash the food up with my back or front (wow, I can't believe I can chew with my front teeth) teeth, the food just sits there. I don't even remember what used to happen pre-surgery. How did the food go from my teeth to my throat??? Now, I send in my tongue to retrieve the food and lead it back to the throat, but I'm not completely sure that was the previous procedure.

The things you take for granted...

I really want a sandwich. And some pizza. And of course, the ever elusive enchilada. I think I've gotta give up on the last one, as I'm now fairly certain it doesn't exist in Seoul.

Day 30

One thing that is so unique about Korea is the general population’s complete disregard for personal space. I got smacked by it today inside the department store by an employee who was too eager to get to the push carts. The victim was my right cheek, exactly in the middle of swelling. How is it possible that this man’s shoulder was a magnet for the sorest spot on my face? 

Went to the doctor today and had my rubber bands removed! The splint is still there, boo. But I did get a removal date – yay! Two weeks from now, I get that sucker out. That means I’ll have it removed on day 52. DAY 52!!! That’s more than seven weeks! Though I do have to say that for some reason, they thought I was leaving for the U.S. this week so they were actually going to take it out today. I should’ve just lied and then returned two weeks later and been like, “JUST KIDDING!”

Day 29

I ate pho today for dinner. I guess I should say dinner #1, as I’m still hungry. I cut the noodles until they were very short and then slurped it up.  I attempted to chew some of the longer noodles and found that they mostly got stuck in a crevice between my cheek and my teeth.

There’s this program on TV that investigates various segments of society and one of today’s topics was the rise in what’s called V-line surgeries. I mentioned this briefly, but there are a number of girls here who are obsessed with having smaller faces. I’m not too sure of the exact procedure but it involves breaking the jaw and shaving off some of the sides? and possibly shortening of the chin. Either way, the recovery is similar to what I’m going through. 

Watching it made me angry, as I think you’ve got to be five sides of stupid to undergo something as torturous as this for the sake of something so subjective as beauty. (If you judge by some tribes in Africa, elongated ears are considered beautiful, but you won’t catch me sticking objects in my earlobes.) Both girls who were lying next to me in the recovery room had procedures done for purely aesthetic reasons. Though I was too weak at the time to voice my opinion, if I saw them again, I’d slap both of them across the face. Except maybe the girl on my right because she gave me this delicious and sweet pumpkin juice. I’m easily won over by food.

Day 28

Happy four week anniversary! I woke up this morning and my skin seemed a lot clearer. I’m really hoping that all of this will be gone by the weekend. And how awesome would it be if the splint came out for the weekend, too? I’d be on top of the world! 

I can move my jaw to the left pretty far, but moving it to the right is really difficult. The muscles just aren’t going as far. Still hoping that my left side progress is enough to get the splint off come Thursday. If not, I have to remind myself that it’s literally only a matter of days. It’s amazing to think how far my jaw has come, especially as I was completely immobile 28 days ago. 

The food is still an issue, as I’m starving for real food. I chewed on some Jell-O today and realized that I can do that fairly well. I’m going to try eating rice with maybe some stew tomorrow. Maybe I’ll order a bowl of pho. 

Day 27

The twice a day cucumber facials are miracle workers! How did I live without them? I’m definitely going to continue this after this all ends. 

The meals I’m eating are beginning to get really repetitive, and I cannot WAIT to get this splint out. I’ve already started a list of all the foods I’m going to devour as soon as I can. The only trouble is that I have no idea where I can get a decent enchilada in Seoul. I’m actually willing to perform Fear Factor dares for one. Other items on the list include: pho, pad thai, burger and with crispy fries, Indian food (preferably a buffet style), and a Subway sandwich (suddenly remembered Mitch Hedberg joke about Subway & made me want one). 

I spent all day yesterday thinking about where I’m going to treat myself for a “real” vacation. I was originally planning on vegging out in front of a beach in Thailand, but ultimately my city girl and unagi-loving self won. To celebrate the 3 month post-op anniversary, I’m going to treat myself to a weekend trip to TOKYO, the city filled with delights that are izakayas, saunas, and Comme des Garcons. Can’t wait to shove fried things on sticks in my mouth and wash it all down with the homeless man’s beer, Asahi Super Dry, while layered in polka dot prints from Rei Kawakubo’s mind.

In the meantime, I’ll be traveling to England via “Little Bee” by Chris Cleave and later to Persia with Jake Gyllenhaal as the Prince.

Day 26

I cannot emphasize the greatness of a cucumber facial. I’ve been doing them since my skin trouble started but stopped when I went to see the dermatologist. I began them again 2 days ago, and I’ve seen such a difference. I think the cucumbers soak up the toxins that are clogging your pores. I usually keep them on my face until they’re about half dry and then peel them off. My latest conclusion about post-op pimples is that you’ve gotta let them run their course. There’s no other way. All the pills and cream they give you don’t help.

Unfortunately, letting the acne run its course means that when one area clears up, another area becomes infected. My chin area is now clearing up, but now my forehead (which was previously a pimple free zone) is flaring up. Faboo.

The stretching exercises seem to really help. I can now fit two fingers in my mouth comfortably! I know you're supposed to be able to open your mouth somewhere between 30 and 40mm. Is that more than two fingers? 

The muscles around my chin are pretty stiff, though. I can't move that area around too much or it gets really sore easily. 

Also, the areas where I'm still numb seem to alternate between being numb and being on fire/needles. It feels like someone is pricking me, but then it subsides at night. I assume that this is the nerves' way of trying to reconnect with feeling. I wish they would hurry, so I can get myself on a beach resort ASAP. I need a real vacation.

Day 24

Wow, it’s been 24 days since my operation. The days seemed to pass so slowly in the beginning and even more so after I passed the 2 week mark, but now they seem to be flying.

There hasn’t been much change today, except that I took off both elastics to eat breakfast for the first time ever. I was scared that my jaw was going to feel like it was going to fall off (like Graham), but I actually had difficulty getting my mouth to open at first. My teeth were suctioned into the bite splint and made this smacking sound when they came apart. I also tried to see how my teeth came together when they weren’t held by elastics. They seem to be doing fairly well on their own. I’m really hoping that this is a good sign that I’ll get the stupid splint out in the next appointment. If not, I’m trying to remind myself that it’ll only be another week afterwards.

I’m going to include these videos of Roger Ebert on the Oprah show today, because they were so inspirational to me during the early days of my surgery. He was diagnosed with thyroid cancer a few years ago and lost the ability to talk and eat after an operation. Despite that, he’s got such an optimistic outlook on life and has proven that you don’t have to have a voice to make yourself heard. 

Day 23

I began sleeping vertically last night, officially. I discovered that I was getting chest pains in the middle of the night from sleeping upright. I usually wake up in the morning with some swelling, but it tends to subside throughout the day.

The acne is getting better, but it’s still there, which is frustrating. Now I’m using an exfoliator every few days to get the dead skin off my face. I’m using the Clinique 7-Day Scrub, but the St. Ives version works very well, too.

There’s not that much change from yesterday, which makes me think that the healing is starting to taper off. I still have numbness on half my lip (the left half), my chin, and under my chin. I also have absolutely no feeling on my upper palate. When I brush it, I have no idea what I’m doing. I wonder when I’ll get feeling back there again, if ever.

I’m trying to keep up with my stretching exercises, so I can hopefully get my bite splint removed for my next doctor’s appointment, which is in a week today. I can see progress when I move my lower jaw out, but I can’t see anything happening when I move it from side to side though I feel it in my mouth. I can now stick two fingers (without elastics or with one elastic) when I open wide. It’s a little tight, but I think it’ll be perfect space tomorrow. Maybe I’ll take a photo of me opening my mouth instead of the crazy mugshots. Fifi sent me an email asking if I could smile yet. Not sure I can without looking/feeling like the Joker, but I suppose I should try.

Day 22

Woke up this morning and found the red rash on my face to have almost completely subsided. Also, a lot of the pimples on my chin have disappeared, too. If a shot in my ass can do this, I’m absolutely willing to take another one. I also received a white cream that’s supposed to be gentler on my skin (aka, not give me red rashes), and I think that’s helped with the zits, too. Now I feel fit to walk outside without feeling overly self-conscious.

Another new issue that’s arisen is that my gums are now attaching themselves to my braces. Also, I keep chewing on my gums, and I’m sure there’s going to be a lot of kanker sores when this is all over. The thing is, I can’t feel the gums on my left cheek (and possibly the right as well) so I have no idea whether or not a piece of my gum is clamped between my teeth. Struggles.

I mentioned in my last entry that I was only popping bands on my left side. Well, I popped the right one today. I’m trying to figure out if I’m supposed to change both of them at the same time, because right now my right one is super tight and my left one is a bit more lax.

There’s this show on TV that highlights individuals in various workplaces who perform a certain manual skill with flair. Like, last week they showed this man who worked in a pizza parlor and could cut and spin raw dough like no other. Today they’re showing people who work in an alcohol factory. It reminds me how much I miss drinking. More than the alcohol itself, I miss the conversation and camaraderie that comes with sitting at a bar with a nicely poured pint.

To wrap up today, I’ll share a recipe.

Recipe:

I love rotisserie chicken with baked beans and cole slaw. On those days when I don’t feel like cooking, I’ll stop by the grocery store and pick them up for a feast. With the left over chicken, I make a chicken salad with pesto, capers, and mayonnaise. I’ve discovered a way to have one of my favorite meals in a no chew or little chew fashion.

Boil a chicken in a pot with vegetables. You get a good broth that you can later slurp.

Shred the chicken. I usually like the breast because there’s a good chunk of meat. Shred the chicken very finely. Use scissors if you must. I wouldn’t recommend blending because it doesn’t look that great, but if you must, you can. Mix in pesto sauce and mayonnaise. Add a bit of salt for taste.

Heat canned beans over the stove. Mash with a spoon. You can swallow the concoction whole.

You can also add mashed potatoes for a full dinner.